


Merry Christmas, I Hate You

by cantdoausername



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternative Universe- Light gets caught and thrown in prison, But L still visits him, I apologize for that, M/M, also featuring a really bad 'white christmas' joke from L, did i mention Light's praise kink?, it doesn't matter if it's the holidays or not because L is still gonna fuck him, it's a christmas fic with our favorite losers, yup that's in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantdoausername/pseuds/cantdoausername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yagami Light has been in prison for two years now. He can always expect his least favorite detective to visit him. And L would never miss a visit, especially during the holidays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Christmas, I Hate You

**Author's Note:**

> So... I wrote another thing, and this one is for the holidays! Yay! I wouldn't take this story too seriously if I were you. And remember, I'm just one guy so I can't catch every mistake. So, I apologize for any mistakes in this. But, you know, enjoy! Or not, I don't know...

The days eventually began to blur together for him, and he barely even keeps note of what day it might be. What use does he have for time anymore? He knows that L will constantly remind him how long he’s been locked up in this maximum security prison.

Yagami Light, Kira, God of the New World, what did those names do for him now?

L had won.

He had been caught.

At first, Light hated the sight of the same arrogant detective who visited him too often (but there was a day when L did not show up and Light lashed out on whoever got the pleasure of escorting him to the showers. _Light never talked about that day_ ). He was stuck in a prison that was way too big for just a single prison. Perhaps it was so large because L was just laughing at him.

_“A castle fit for a God, is it not, Kira?”_

Light had punched him without a second thought.

Now, however, Light was sitting comfortably in a plush chair doing some leisurely reading in the large library in his personal prison and-

Oh, who was he kidding? He was bored out of his mind. He had no one to talk to. Well, he supposed he could talk to the guards that were standing by the door, both of them holding large guns. Did L really think those guns would scare him? _Please._ Light had seen worse. He had done worse when compared to the damage those guns could do. Besides, the guards never provided him with quality conversations. So, really, there was no point in even attempting to talk with them.

Light remained in his chair with his legs crossed in annoyance. _Where the fuck was L? He’s usually here around now._ Light may have lost track of what day it was, but dammit he knew when L was supposed to show up.

He was getting rather impatient now, his left leg beginning to bounce on top of his right one.

He may have wanted L to show up, but he still didn’t bat an eyelash when the detective walked into the library. He didn’t look up from his book when L dismissed the guards from their duty, stating that he could take care of the inmate all by himself.

They were alone, but Light still wasn’t acknowledging the man who had been on his mind for the past three hours (or was it only two).

“Aren’t you going to say something to me, Light?”

L had dropped the act of politeness a long time ago, perhaps around the time he stopped acting like _Ryuzaki_ , and he no longer spoke to Light using honorifics.

Light would rather say it was because L was an asshole who didn’t care about being polite to the criminals he catches… He didn’t want to think it was because they had actually grown that familiar with one another.

_L was just an asshole, and Light wasn’t relieved to see him again._

“What exactly do you want to hear?” Light replied, still not diverting his eyes away from the book he had stopped reading twenty minutes ago (or was it five minutes).

“I suppose a ‘hello, L’ would be customary.”

Light scoffed, uncrossing his legs and setting his book to the side. He looked up at the detective that he didn’t miss. “ _H_ _ello, L._ ” He said through gritted teeth.

“Hello, _Light_.” L says, placing just as much emphasis on Light’s name as he can, just like Light had done. Although, the malice weaved into his voice was merely meant to mock Light.

“To what do I owe this pleasure of your visit?” Light grits out, but he knows that they are both aware that the hate in his voice isn’t that real. It’s been so long since their fight as Kira and L ended, and yet they still play childish games with one another. They still try to piss each other off. But, there really isn’t a point to it anymore. It’s just something to pass the time with.

“You’ve been imprisoned for two years now, Light. Not only that, but you’re twenty years old. Times flies when you’re having fun, does it not?”  

Light rolls his eyes and crosses his arms because he is very unimpressed with L’s words. _Couldn’t he do better than that?_ “Oh? Does it now? I had no clue. I was aware of my age, though. However, that would make you twenty-seven. You’re pushing thirty, L. I’m not so sure I should be conversing with old men like you.”

L feigns a look of offense, which quickly turns into a smirk. After three years of knowing L, Light doesn’t think he’s ever going to get used to seeing any type of emotion of L’s face.

“I may be getting older, Light, but I am quite alright with that. At least I am not trapped in a prison for the rest of my life.” He says, moving to sit down on the couch that Light’s chair was adjacent to. He no longer sat in that uncomfortable crouch because there was no point in hiding his personality. He was arrogant and they both knew it. _He mocked Light by crossing his long, lanky legs. One on top of the other._

“I really appreciate the reminder of the length of my sentence in here. I almost forgot about it.” Light replied, shaking his head as he watched as L copied the way he liked to sit. Assaulting L would be a bad idea, wouldn’t it?  “What do you want, L? Surely there must be a reason. Yesterday it was because you re-read Dante’s Inferno and wanted to discuss what circle of Hell I would be in. The day before that it was for updating me on how much work you’ve been doing lately… Something about crime rates skyrocketing again, which is still hilarious to me. And the day before that-”

Light is cut off by L chuckling and shaking his head.

“You’re rambling, Light. I do not require a day by day record of why I come to see you every day. Still, though, you never let me finish my analysis on where you would be in Hell. I haven’t quite forgiven you for that yet.”

“Oh, have I offended you? Do forgive me. I cannot believe that I would have to audacity to offend you, L.” Light is beginning to get irritated. L hasn’t even said why he was visiting today. Shouldn’t Light be the one to be offended right about now?

“All offense aside, you must be getting rather curious about why I’m visiting you today, correct?” L asks. Light opens his mouth to answer, but the detective cuts him off before he can even get a syllable out. “It’s Christmas, Light. It would be rude of me if I didn’t come see you during the holidays. Couples spend time together during these times, do they not?”

Both L and Light have to hold in a laugh at the idea of them actually being a couple.

They were close, but they weren’t _that_ close. Right?

“I’m not sure what is odder… The fact that you’d take the time to come visit me on Christmas… Or the idea that we’re a couple. Most couples don’t have death wishes on each other.”

“I beg to differ. I have never wanted you dead.”

Light doesn’t even try to hold in the snort that escaped him. Out of all the things that L has said, that had to be the biggest lie. “Really now? So, the two weeks after you arrested me and tried to convince me that the death penalty was something I should go through with was what exactly?”

L rolls his eyes at Light’s response. That was so long ago. Couldn’t they get over that? “Well, I just learned that you were Kira and were plotting to kill me. Anyone would be angry. Besides, you also wanted me dead. That was the goal, right?”

“Originally, yes. I can’t do that now… But, at the time, I would have gladly put your head on a silver platter.”

Two years ago they would have never spoken so openly about the fact that they wanted to kill one another. Perhaps they truly _had_ gotten very close over the years.

Despite the fact that they might have been close, they would never admit anything more than that. Just saying that they enjoyed each other’s company felt like it was too much.

There wasn’t anything that Light could not say. He was already in prison, so he might as well turn his filter off.

L’s thumb drags across his lower lip, a habit that he hadn’t been able to break just yet. “A silver platter? Hmm… I haven’t heard that one from you. It’s clever, I suppose.”

“Are you going to keep judging my insults or will you just get on with whatever you had planned?”  

L uncrosses his legs and stands up from his sitting position on the couch. “Of course, Light. I know how impatient you can get.”

Light simply scoffs and gets up to follow L.

The two walk through the long, gray hallway of Light’s personal prison. The rooms themselves are rather extravagant, but the hallways are like a reminder for Light. They reminded him of where he was and that he was never getting out. He would always be escorted from one room to another. If he wanted to go to his bedroom then he would have a guard walk him to it with his hands cuffed behind his back. If he wanted to shower then a different guard would take him to the bathroom. Light wasn’t accompanied by guards while he was bathing or in his room, but he was being monitored.

There were cameras everywhere. He could not escape them.

However, the rules changed when L was there.

Light did not have to be handcuffed while L was walking with him to any given room. The rooms did not have to be monitored while L was inside.

Light knew how easy it would be to kill L if they were alone. He’s thought about doing too. However, he just hasn’t. _He does not want to say what holds him back from wrapping his hands around L’s throat and squeezing._

He can’t admit anything.

L leads Light back to his bedroom, unlocking the door and holding it open for Light like the _gentleman he is._

Light steps inside and does not give L a single glance, ignoring the polite gesture (Light knew that L was only doing it to piss him off).

“Go into the walk-in closet, Light. You’ll find your gift in there.” L says, shutting the door behind them and locking it.

The prisoner almost can’t believe that L genuinely got him something. What were they? _Some kind of couple?_ Still, he walks over to his closet and opens it.

Light finds that his wardrobe had been switched out entirely. There were no more unflattering bright orange prison scrubs. Instead, there were the kinds of clothes that he preferred to wear. Light had no doubt that every single suit would be tailored perfectly. He knew that every cashmere set of pajamas would be exactly his size.

He stood in front of the closet, practically starstruck by the sight in front of him. “Why?” He asks, desperately wanting to know why L would do something like this.

L sits on the foot of Light’s large bed, watching the male as he stares at his new wardrobe. “Because I was tired of hearing you complain about how the scrubs were disgusting… And I assumed this would be a gift that would please you.”

“Since when did you care about pleasing me?”

L tilts his head to the side, pretending to think about what he should say. A smirk quickly appears on his face (and Light hates the sight of it) and he looks at Light once again. “Don’t I always _please_ you, Light?”

Light does everything in his power to ignore the innuendo that the detective made. _He walked right into that one._ “You could say that. But, I think I enjoy these clothes more than I enjoy your company.” He says, and walks into the oversized closet and closes the door behind him.

L is left sitting on the bed, staring at the door to the closet. He really does need to give Light more credit when it comes to putting up with him.

It doesn’t take long for Light to change into something he actually liked the look of. Something as simple as a black sweater and slim fit pants shouldn’t bring him any kind of joy. But, after two years of orange scrubs, this is exactly what he needed.

He walks back out into the bedroom, seeing L right where he left him. Of course, he couldn’t miss the way that L looked at him. He knew that look (he had thought about that look when L wasn’t around). And he thought that it would have been better if he didn’t change his clothes.

“You look positively stunning, Light.”

Light’s breathing hitches and he begins to feel just a bit hot. L knew exactly what he was doing, didn’t he? He knew how much Light craved to hear those kinds of words. And now he was using it to his advantage. Then again, Light didn’t think he minded right now.

“Do I?” He replies, taking a small step closer to L.

L stands up and wastes no time in walking right up to Light. He drags a finger from the middle of Light’s chest, across his sensitive neck, and swipes it over his lower lip. “You do. I should have provided you with more flattering clothes much sooner. Although, you look good in anything, Light.”

At this point it would be impossible to ignore that his new pants were getting tighter. Light didn’t know if he should groan or glare at L for using this tactic to get him aroused. “Now you’re just sweet talking me, L. That’s a dirty trick.”

L leans just a bit closer to Light’s face, a small smile appearing on his lips. “Perhaps… Perhaps not. I confess to nothing.”

They fall back onto the bed in no time at all, kissing one another passionately. Light is straddling L’s waist and slowly grinding against him, teasing him just because he can.

L may know how to rile Light up, but Light knew exactly how to drive L insane.

L can only take the slow, teasing movements for so long. He can only hold back for a short amount of time before he flips them over and stares down at Light. L slips his hand underneath the black sweater, slowly gliding his hand up and pushing the sweater up in the process. He takes in the sight of Light’s flushed skin and he licks his lips. “Mmm… There’s what I wanted to see… Such perfection.”  

Light allows a quiet moan to escape his lips because of L’s words. He should have known that this was where they would end up. They always did.

It doesn’t take much time for L to completely strip Light of his clothing, leaving him nude underneath him. In this moment, L can’t think of a more appealing sight than having a panting, aroused Yagami Light under his body. _No, there’s definitely nothing more attractive than this._

L presses his lips from the crook of Light’s neck down to his nipple, leaving a new trail of marks on Light’s otherwise flawless skin.

Light arches into L’s touch and moans as his least favorite detective begin to nip and lick at every place he knows is sensitive. He used to hate how sensitive he was, but he didn’t care anymore. He was stuck in prison for the rest of his life, so he might as well enjoy himself.

Everything is a blur of touches and loud moans from Light. He used muffle every single sound he made just to make L believe that he wasn’t enjoying himself. That was until L caught on and did everything in his power to make it impossible for Light to even think about keeping his voice down. Light doesn’t even attempt to keep his voice down anymore. Why should he?

L did love the sound of his voice, and he knew it because he told him. Light would never get tired of hearing how wonderful he sounded. He would never stop enjoying listening to the words of praise that came from L.

Light’s toes curl into the sheets as he feels a cold, lubricated finger enter him. It didn’t matter how many times they slept together, the sensation of L preparing him would always feel odd. Of course, he quickly forgot about that as soon as a second finger was added and L began to slowly stretch him out.

Slowly. Always too slow.

Light wants to roll his eyes in annoyance because he knows exactly what L was doing. He would rather be put into solitary confinement instead of begging for more. Sadly, his mind and what he said weren’t matching up as well as he would have liked.

“H-Hurry up… I… _ahhhhh_ … need- _ngh_...”

Maybe it was the look that Light gave him (a look that was just screaming _I’m falling apart so hurry up before I stab you in the neck_ ) that made the corners of L’s lips turn upward.

“What was that, Light? I’m afraid I couldn’t understand you.”

Or maybe it was just the fact he knew exactly how his touches affected Light.

L is very deliberate in the way he rubs against Light’s prostate.

It’s slow. It’s barely even a touch at all. _It’s not enough._

“ _Mmm_ … M-More…”

The words are muttered into the pillow beside Light’s face, and he has to bite his tongue because he cannot give L the satisfaction of saying anything else. It doesn’t matter if L knows how much he craves this. How often he thinks about this.

_As long as Light gets what he wants for once then he’ll be fine._

L does give Light what he asks for. How could he not? It was the holidays and L was feeling very generous.

The pace at which L moves his fingers in and out of Light increases, and he hits the one spot that makes his prisoner writhe underneath him as often as he possibly could. He can’t deny the fact that he loves this sight. Someone as proud as Yagami Light is reduced down to a pile of moans.

L knows that Light still has power over him. He knows that he’s doing exactly what Light wants. He’s accepted that Light still holds some kind of power over him.

He accepts these things because he knows that he has power over Light too.

Neither of them are innocent in this. They both are acutely aware of how bad they are for each other. Everything is a game for them, but they don’t care.

They’ll keep messing with each other.

They’ll destroy each other one day.

_They’ll enjoy every second of it. Because it’s just a game and there are no feelings._

L had decided a long time ago that fucking Light was an experience. He would never meet another person that he enjoyed sleeping with this much. And the same goes for Light. It was almost unsettling how well their bodies meshed together, how well Light could take every inch of L’s cock.

There was absolutely nothing gentle about L's thrusts into Light. They had no time or patience for something so boring as loving sex. Besides… They could not have said “loving sex” because there was no love involved. And they would continue to say that until the day they both died.

Light gripped onto the soft bed sheets under him, his legs were set on top of L’s shoulders, and he could feel his body begin to shake as pleasure washed over him.

He could admit to being greedy when it came to sex. He always wanted more, he wanted deeper, faster, harder. He wanted everything that his detective could give him. And perhaps Light was lucky.

“ _Ahhhhh-L… Ngh-Ha-a-rder_.”

Because L would always give him what he wanted and then some.

There was nothing gentle about this, and they never wanted it to be that way. Hard was what they needed. Fast was what they craved. _They desired each other in every way possible and they wouldn’t give up what they had._

L and Light were much too selfish to ever think about letting the other out of either of their grasp.

They had an odd and twisted relationship. But that was fine. If things were not complicated then everything would become boring.

The holidays were meant to bring people together. For L and Light, it was another reason to visit. L was always visiting his prisoner and he almost never missed a day, but he always needed a reason to be there.

The reason could be bullshit, but it was still a reason.

Or were those reasons just excuses?

For some reason or another, L realizes that he hadn’t gotten a present from Light. He knows that bringing the subject up while he’s _so deep_ inside of Light and grinding against him probably isn’t the best time… But, he doesn’t really care.

L slows down his thrusts and Light whines in protest. _God, just what is he doing now?_

“You… Never got m-me… a present… L-Light…” L’s words come out in pants, but the point he was trying to make was coherent.

Light groans, both in frustration and because L had to press against his prostate while he was trying to think.

“I-I d-didn’t _ngh… ahhh!_ …. Know t-that was… n-necessary… _L_!”

L’s face is hovering right in front of Light’s and he somehow manages to crack a smug look. “O-Of course it… I-Is… That’s how gift e-exchanges work…”

“ _S_ _hit! Fu_ … I-Is _nghhh_ now t-the time?” Light says, trying to look utterly disappointed by the words coming out of L’s mouth.

The answer doesn’t come immediately; L found it difficult to speak while his lips were pressed against Light’s in a passionate kiss. Light was well aware that L was evading the question, but he could barely think. Let alone care about if it was the time to talk about the customs regarding gift giving during Christmas while they were having sex.

When they pulled away from their kiss, L’s lips were next to Light’s ear.

“Perhaps this can be my present. Seeing you under me is such a lovely sight. I’ll never get over how erotic you look… Do you even know how hot you are?” He says, using this as an opportunity to let Light hear some more praise.

Light can feel warmth run all over his body as L speaks to him. He thinks that words like that shouldn’t have such a strong effect on him, but it was too late to admit that he didn’t need to be praised. He wonders if L will stop there. If he did then Light would scream.

L didn’t stop. He continued to whisper delicious words of praise to his prisoner, and he wouldn’t stop until Light had completely come undone.

_“You never cease to amaze me, Light. You take all of me so well.”_

_“Arch your back again… Yes, just like that… You look so sexy when you do.”_

_“You’re so vocal today, Light… Let me hear more of those wonderful sounds.”_

Light felt like he was being driven mad with pleasure. Everything that L said just turned him on even more. He was running his nails across L’s back, creating scratch marks on the pale skin.

It wouldn’t be fair if it was only Light’s body that got covered with marks from their _activities_.

_An eye for an eye, after all._

Light could feel himself begin to fall apart and he was so close. Just a few more thrusts, a few more words of praise, and he would be gone.

_“Let me see the face you make when come. It’s so fucking hot…”_

Light’s whole body tensed and he felt so damn _good_. He didn’t even require a touch on his erection. The pleasure from his detective thrusting into him and the words that he heard were more than enough to send him over the edge.

“ _Ngh! I-I… Ha… L!_ ”

Light moaned loudly as he came, pulling L down closer to him so he could hold onto something. _And it wasn't because he wanted L to be closer to him in this moment._ He felt a familiar warmth fill him up from the inside, and he knew that L must have finished.

The bastard was always so quiet. Light hated that.

“Y-You... Didn’t h-have to… Finish… I-Inside…” Light says, and is too weak to push L off of him. (And, maybe he doesn’t want to.) He also pretends to claim that he loathes the feeling of L coming inside of him. He would never say that the feeling is familiar and he likes it.

“I didn’t? Well, it’s a bit late for that.” L responds, knowing that Light doesn’t really hate the feeling. But, he would let his prisoner pretend all he wanted.

L pulls out of Light and sets himself right next to him. He waits for Light to sit up, pulling the covers over both of them before he tries to bring up the conversation from earlier.

“I was serious when I asked about my present, Light.”

Light can only roll his eyes and shake his head. “Alright, L… What can I get for you? I’ll walk down to the store the next chance I get. Please take into consideration that I’m serving a life sentence in a prison that you designed when deciding what you want.”

“Hmm… I want a white Christmas.”

Light turns his body so he’s facing L. He looks at the man like he’s made the most outrageous request because he did... “Snow? You want me to get you snow? Are you being ridiculous?”

L isn’t subtle in the way his eyes gaze over Light’s entire form, a smirk forming on his face as his eyes land on the mess that covers Light’s stomach. “It really depends on your definition of what a _white_ Christmas is.”

“Get out.”

“I think not. It’s Christmas,” L pauses to lean over and press his lips to Light’s cheek. “Merry Christmas, Light.”

“I hate you.” 

End.

**Author's Note:**

> You made it to the end? Did you enjoy yourself? Yes? No? Let me know because I am so lonely and I like feedback.  
> Happy holidays to anyone reading this! And I will see you in the next thing I finish (hopefully it'll be soon)!  
> Bye!  
> Wait! I forgot something... What was it? Oh yeah! I can't leave you without a shameless plug!  
> Follow me on tumblr at destroydeathnotebeforeitkillsme.tumblr.com for more Lawlight bullshit


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